I've thought that it is no use holding grudges. The thing about grudge holding, is it deteriorates relationships and causes resentment. But, I wouldn't know how it feels to hold a grudge because I never really have. Violence is a big deal breaker for me though.
When I think about not holding a grudge, I think about seeing things from the other person's perspective. I generally assume goodness in people, and people make mistakes. Many people hold grudges though, and I don't really know what to think of them. What kind of hell are they living in? It must hurt to keep track of people who are on your "enemies" list. I would rather choose peace of mind.
My family is not perfect, but we are all people and we all have good qualities and bad qualities. Everyone makes mistakes. One important element is communication, and if we can talk about how we messed up, that is good. Unfortunately alcohol is a big part of my family's life and that causes tons of problems due to memory loss, etc.
In general though, it is best to avoid holding grudges and choose peace of mind. Let relationships naturally develop.
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