My dreams heavily influence the person that I am. Ever since I started hearing music, they have been a bit clouded and gloomy. Getting a good night's rest is one of the joys in life however.
I find I have the temperament of an artist. I look for beauty in the world. Sometimes this gets me into trouble with people as I conceptualize the perfect appearance, and of course, no one is perfect. I am reading "The Picture of Dorian Gray" right now. Oscar Wilde is a tremendous author.
I'll just mention briefly that I have started to hear music. I don't know if it's an adverse reaction of the drugs that I'm on, but I pretty much have music going on in my head all the time. I can deal with mood fluctuations but I do not know why I have this constant music. It is very frustrating. I am seeing my doctor in half an hour and I will mention it to her. Maybe she will medicate me more. I am apprehensive about the side effects of medication, but it seems to be my destiny to be medicated. Of course, I do have an underlying mental health condition, so this seems inevitable.
I have to not hold myself to the standards of "normal" people. People who don't have a similar condition. When I was frequenting Wireclub for all that time, I was trying to blend in with a very toxic online group that were relentless in putting me down. I have to be careful to easy on myself and not reprimand myself for not having more.
Thankfully I have a great friend in my life.
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