Mental illness

 My father by his own admission is "insane". I finally got around to blocking him because as an alcoholic, he drags down my mood constantly.

I started playing poker. I started at $50 buy-in, then went down to $25, then finally $10 today. I have lost $150 approximately over the last 2 - 3 weeks. I guess I've learned that the higher stakes are too challenging for me at this stage. I found $25 scintillating but and $10 a little sloppy, but I've lost a couple buy-ins at $25 so I feel I have to stay at $10 for a while. It's been enough poker for today, I've played for hours.

"Modern Theory of Poker" is very formulaic and analytical. I bought this book off Amazon a while ago, and now the book is going into game-theory and proving tons of formulas and calculations to support different playing scenarios.

I'll try to finish the book but it is a little too technical and abstract for me. I enjoyed learning about ranges, but finding the Game Theory Optimal solution for hands (otherwise known as the Nash Equilibrium) is going into far too much depth for my liking at this stage. I suppose it's good to have a basic understanding of the principles though.

It's math I can do but I am not interested in following along with it. I found looking into hand equity calculations kind of interesting though (comparing hand equity to pot odds, I believe, for example).

I am spending a lot of time in my unit and not getting out and not being around people. The music in my head is kind of maddening. Tomorrow I will make an effort to get out and go to the clubhouse. Spending too many days in a row not getting out is not good for me.

Friday I have plans to see a friend.