2023

 2023 was a formative year for me. I shall recount the events that took place during this time.

Shortly after moving into my current place, I went to the pharmacy to request that they retrieve my medications. It turned out they were out of a key medication that I had been on for over a decade. It was around this time that my alcoholic father bullied me. I was at my parents' place, hanging out with him and waiting for my mother who was out. I wasn't there for five minutes before the verbal attacks started. I got out of there.

I resolved that I would not renew my medication and begin to come off it. I was angry at my parents. Most of my will to take medication was based on the fact that they wanted me to. At that point, I had always hated them. The doctors at the hospital were also trying to ween me off them, as I had convinced them that the side effects were too overwhelming.

Coming off medication, I underwent a series of adventures that would shape me. I became an uber driver. I cruised around on a scooter doing deliveries. It was as happy time.

Eventually I obtained an iMac and spent a lot of time going to chatrooms, connecting with people online. There were several trips to the emergency ward when I would freak out. I met Sharyl, who was in my life for a few months. We spent a few nights together.

During this time, I was obsessed with contacting the police. Unfortunately, I did it a bit too much. I don't recall why. I started going to Al and Ryan's convenience store often. I would go there a few times per week, usually dropping by during the night shift when Ryan was working. I would also frequent the clubhouse. I remember my sleep lowering, and stuff. There was another woman who I met at the clubhouse who I spent a night or two with. Over the next several months I would have even more adventures.

I met Kailey, who was troubled but a decent person. Perhaps troubled is an understatement. We spent a full month together, doing everything together. This was also a pretty happy time, although somewhat wild. I bought a ring.

During this time, I was paranoid and cautious of my father. We had split on poor terms and I was now disconnected from my mother and sister too. Not speaking to them at all was a marked change from the daily and weekly visits of the past decade. I bought a one-way ticket to Tel Aviv, Israel, and traveled there. Upon arriving, they confiscated my passport and sent me home on a flight that they paid for.

Being as all this was 2 years ago, my memory is a little foggy. I remember staying in a homeless shelter in (I think) Niagara Falls. I remember gambling at the casino, playing poker. I remember hanging out with Mack, and old acquaintance. I remember hating where I was staying. To this day, the people whom I live around don't go out of their way to be nice or friendly.

I obtained a Fender guitar and started relentlessly appreciating and playing it. I performed at several venues around the city.

These 8 months were exhilarating but in retrospect worrying. It was during this time that I regained a lot of my energy and ability to think. I overcame certain cognitive problems and fog and became more self-reliant and confident in my ability to fend for myself. I also wound up in jail, twice (for minor charges).

I miss the excitement and the happiness, for it felt so great to be free from all these medications. Eventually my mother and sister thought it would be a good idea to get together and talk to the Justice of the Peace, issuing a Form 2, empowering the police to come and get me and detain me for 72 hours in a psychiatric facility.

Oddly, after this, they continued to ignore me. It's as if they were at war with me and have been since I was 23. Having suffered a Form 2, I would never do this to anyone. The long-term consequences of getting a Form 2 on someone is worse than the effects of being in jail. It murders the life they were going for.

I have more to relate about this time in 2023, but for now, I am distracted and will come back to this subject later.