When I think back the days before my diagnosis, I feel I was doing some questionable things. Today, I don't necessarily like to accept I have this diagnosis, but I did act odd in the year before I was finally hospitalized.
Perhaps it was inevitable that I would be hospitalized, but I look back on the method in which that happened to me and it seems a bit odd. I never turned myself into the hospital, that choice was made for me by my mother. I hadn't slept in two days and came to my mother telling her I would accept help, but wound up locked up for 3.5 weeks.
Today, I can only take my medication and hope for the best. I wrestle in my mind in an endless throw of ambivalence whether or not I am actually mentally ill. Maybe my problems are deeply psychological, and not a physical "brain" issue.
I have to research this more, and look into books on the subject. However, lately, I have been into computer/video games. And spending time with my friend.
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