Kids

 I've blogged about my father a lot. The fact is, he's just a little child. It's weird being more mature than him, given that he's 78.

I have come to the realization that nothing I can do is really bad, since I am his child. It is expected that I will be less mature than him. Throughout my life, I have been made to be responsible for more than any child should. He has severe mental issues, and has taken it out on myself and my sister our whole lives. Add to the mix a severe dose of alcoholism and you have a monster for a father.

I don't think people really understand what it's like growing up with an alcoholic parent(s). You mention to someone that your father is an alcoholic, and unless they have been there, they are likely to just sweep that under the rug. "Oh yeah, my father has a beer in the evenings too." It's nothing like that. The bastard starts goes all day hard, every day.

I am basically going to have to forsake my inheritance because he's exactly the kind of asshole who will take it away at a whim. He doesn't believe in me getting anything. So, he will probably leave all the money to my kiss-ass sister, who gives him gifts to stay on his good side.

I have to make peace with the fact that he has basically robbed me of what should come down to me eventually. After all, he essentially robbed my mother of all her money, taking control of the "finances" early on. He spends all the family's money on himself. Drinks it and buys expensive rugs while I live in poverty and my sister is without an income.

Words can't express what a piece of shit Howard, my father is.