Tuesday, December 30, 2025

The misfit

 As I've alluded to before (and also stated overtly), I am a misfit in my environment. I simply don't fit in. I have no good relationships with people within a 20 mile radius and I am both at odds with my surroundings and not able to appreciate anyone in my vicinity. I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm getting bullied, but if there is a social game at all, I am losing it. I look back on my time on this planet and there were times when I didn't like where I was in life, and things tended to improve. Then things got worse, and didn't improve. So it's a bit of a crapshoot as to how we go about fitting in with our surroundings and with people. I have retreated into more-or-less isolation. I just really don't like this part of the city and I don't know if I'm the only one in this building who feels that way, but it eats at me. Everyone else seems to be having a decent time and/or appreciative of where they live.

I much prefer my living situation in 2019 - 2020. And yet there was a guy in that place who ended his life, so it's clearly a subjective experience as to how or why we fit in with where we are. I am just kind of jaded about the medication, I don't know if I still need to be taking it.

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