I have decided to leave someone on block, someone who is far older than me and someone who is an alcoholic. I cannot deal with alcoholism and I feel shaken emotionally by my encounter with this individual yesterday. I try to relate but the hatred just overwhelms me.
It takes me a few days to settle into my peaceful routine of existence. After having experienced emotional stress, it is always a while until I can feel calm and centered again. My issue is that I feel sorry for the person, because they are a lonely alcoholic. But the person has far, far more money than me and lives a much higher quality lifestyle with fancy steak and smoked salmon, and other luxuries. So why do I bend over backwards to try to reach out and help them?
It is part of my nature. But the longer I go on my own the more confident I become and more independent I feel. I have spent most of my life catering to this individual, healing them, listening ad nauseum. It has been an emotionally abusive relationship that I have often been trapped in. I am fortunate to have gone out on my own and be able to survive without them. But old habits are hard to break. Especially when you've been groomed since childhood to be a friend/therapist. Truly despicable. Howard's nickname is "how weird", because he is an idiot, a fool, and a drunk/alcoholic. He has no redeeming qualities, a true bastard, like every alcoholic.
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